How To Fix The Republican Party

By now it is obvious to all but the brain dead and retarded partisans that the republican party is useless. The party's only goal is to get back into power so they kiss the feet of the purses that control and manage them. The few sane and rational republicans left are leaving the party as Olympia Snowe did, or they have put on a clown hat as John McCain and Orrin Hatch do now. Republicans must now act like retarded tea party members. If an honest republican appeared today they'd be labeled crazy and placed in a Koch rehabilitation center. So with hope that the number of lunatics can at least be reduced in the party of Lincoln, the following voter's guide has been proposed.

If a republican candidate says no new taxes under any circumstance, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate appears twice in a week on Fox media, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate is taken seriously on Fox news, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate is praised by Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity, or Ingram, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate uses the word socialism, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate uses the word welfare and/or food stamps, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate has read and admired Ayn Rand, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate says they made it all on their own, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate is a member of the tea party, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate talks military might but never served, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate tell you how much they love life, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate tells you government is full of communists, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate talks about our constitution, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate says entitlements more than twice, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate is supported by Karl Rove, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate is supported by a PAC with prosperity in its name, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate says they care about children and their future, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate talks about contraception, don't vote for them.
If a republican candidate says corporations are people, don't vote for them.

We all know both parties are screwed up today, money has so corrupted the political process we should fly the dollar bill over all government locations. Instead of American flags on lapels, dollars should be attached. The nation only counts as the place where large scale money laundering takes place and exploitation of its resources remains legal, our nation's wealth finds its way to the few who manage our so called political leaders. Republicans are marginally worse than democrats and as noted above useless.


"Republicans approve of the American farmer, but they are willing to help him go broke. They stand four-square for the American home -but not for housing. They are strong for labor - but they are stronger for restricting labor's rights. They favor minimum wage - the smaller the minimum wage the better. They endorse educational opportunity for all - but they won't spend money for teachers or for schools. They think modern medical care and hospitals are fine - for people who can afford them. They consider electrical power a great blessing - but only when the private power companies get their rake-off. They think American standard of living is a fine thing - so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire of Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it." Harry S. Truman