Midcan5's Blog

The Prayer Tweets Of Donnie John Now I lay me down to sleep sure hope I can think of some mean tweets. Bless my spirit as I roam the world looking for places to build hotels. Lord please protect Mar-a-Lago, my taxpayer funded winter White House with golf course. God watches ever by my side, and guides my shot another par. God is great! God is good! Let us thank God for all my fans that still believe. Heavenly Father, thank You for Your guidance on our great great tax plan for the rich, your special children. Lord he's a pedophile but think of all the money a tax reduction will bring to your churches. Day is done, gone the sun, all is well, how about some chocolate cake. Show me the way, show me to the path, show me the way to MacDonalds. God in heaven hear my prayer, bless those who love me most, my lawyers. May angels watch me through the night and inspire in me great tweets. Lord the Pences are yokels but his pious beliefs sure helped get your base aboa...

Darn, I need to add all my fake tweets someday. A few more below. Such fun. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Donnie John Tweets His Fans I love rallies just me and my adulation groupies. Who needs Russian help Americans are dumb enough already. I say any thing and they believe ain't my fans great. How about my tax plan for me and wealthy friends great great tax plan. Sorry about that imaginary great great healthcare it was all talk anyway. Trumpcare works, millions more uninsured I'll blame the dems and my people will believe. Like all my business failures so long as I get out OK all is OK. I know I'm a draft dodger, serving the country is for others I serve me. Don't blame me for all my lying that started right from the beginning they follow still. Poor healthcare saves money who needs to take care of sick people anyway. Listen I know the Wall improvement started with the last administrator my fans don't kn...

Ruminations from the peanut gallery. As always real Americans share and these tweets can be shared. Donnie, just say collusion is normal kinda like lying and not paying your workers, just part of the job. Didn't mommy tell you Donnie that lying wasn't very nice or becoming a president? Love your new slogan Donnie and Sons, 'Make America great again with Russian help'. All those wealthy cabinet people really really understand the working poor in America. Smart move Pres Macron give him a platform and parade and you got him where you want him. Donnie, just keep saying you heard it through the grapevine...so it must be true.... Loved the photo of Kris Kobach next to an illegal Sasquatch voter on the National Inquirer front page, good work Kris. Donnie Jr sure got played, but hey you made up enough lies about Hillary, no need to depend on Russian dirt. Mike Lee claims conservatives need to add lying and cheating on their wives to conservative values. Donnie sto...

Why'd you spend $400,000 of taxpayer money flying back to Washington to attend a concert. How's it feel to have a German women as leader of the free world now that you were elected? Give up on false Podesta tweets, tell your fans a million Bigfoots voted for Hillary in CA, that they'll believe. Stop posting the great Obama jobs monthly numbers, you'll need less jobs to justify giving the rich trickle up tax relief. Keep coming up with plans that aren't really plans, the media will be kept busy and you can golf. Alternative explanations for fake topics have not been ruled out as useful explanations, per Trump admin. Is it true Ivanka is now running the country as you golf? No need to worry about Russia meddling in our elections republicans are doing that well enough with voter ID regulations. Under Trumpcare just 32 million people will lose health coverage great great work. Pres Trump have you ever read a book? Ever? Recommended Strangers in Their Own Land...

The People Tweet Pres Trump - 2 Editor's note: It cannot be determined if all these tweets were actually used, there is no copyright on thought in this confusing time. Enjoy and use. Stop calling healthcare Obamacare, this is your watch and what you do or don't do or allow others to do is now Trumpcare. Donald, will Trumpcare be great like your University and Casinos? The tough tweeter was a draft dodger, it's real tough finding a doctor to excuse you from serving your nation. Great great idea not recording WH briefings, that way reality can be modified to fit anything at all. When Hillary called your fans deplorables she missed the biggest one you. How about that Gorsuch dissenting established civil rights for Americans another sad example of humanity. You are greatest president in all history even fake history according to fake Time covers. Donald you drive American made your fans drive foreign cars, how you gonna make America great. Only eighty thousand vote...

Ed note: The seriousness or even legitimacy of these complementary and suggestive tweets cannot be determined but many do contain praise, advice, thoughts, and useful ideas. As the editors built this list, it was determined subsequent lists will be necessary. Some republican may be playing you so they can rob the bank and then blame you, watch out for them. Thomas, Alito, and now Gorsuch three flunkies, two to go, great great work! Just blame the democrats and Obama, your fans will believe they want to believe. Sixty percent of Americans think you're dishonest keep up the good work! Forty straight days of lying and they actually claimed you weren't a republican! You should write a book on how to lie your way to the president of the USA, the art of the lie. My mom says you are a shallow man, a family that lives on the surface and has no depth or care of another. It's not your fault poor people didn't have rich parent like you, is it? Keep em busy with distrac...

It has been confirmed that satirizing Donald J Trump and family along with his presidential staff is too easy. The entire presidency is a satire of American comedic dimensions. 'Being There' best exemplifies DJT rise to power, but you'd need to add in 'Wall Street', 'Dr Strangelove' and 'All in the Family' as footnotes. "No, I can definitely say the president is not a liar." Sarah Huckabee Sanders It was sunny on my inauguration, God knew whose day it was. Three million illegals voted for Hillary and I still won the popular vote. I was wire tapped, Hillary and Barack are seen in a video setting it up. I accomplished so much in my first 100 days left me time for golf. How about my great cabinet taking loyalty oaths to me, not to anyone but me. I don't even know who James Comey is? I do have tapes of my conversation with some one who may have been James Comey. I've loved Russia since they bailed me out from bankruptcy. A...

Trump Tweeter in Chief Tweeting is my macho man card, beware fake main stream media. I am the greatest stump speaker of all time, did you see their faces, Trump's tweet agrees. Forty percent of my subjects will follow me no matter the lie or its consequences on them. I had to abandon Paris Accord too many bald eagles are being killed by wind turbines. How's my black cabinet guy doing, cities seem more peaceful good good job. That red head did me no justice orangey tan looks so much better on me. Just blame Hillary or Obama retroactively doesn't matter about what, my people will believe. Did you see all those people smiling as I signed another piece of paper that was really meaningless about job creation. Donald Trump Jr is following in my footsteps with fake and phony tweets, I'm so proud. When anything happens and I tweet its reason I am always correct, tweets Trump about Trump. Did they find Obama Kenyon birth certificate yet, my sources say they're cl...

This is too easy but fun. Although this is our president. Hm.... Real quotes this week, but what is real today? The Wisdum and profundity of DJT "I think I am, actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand.” "The point is that you can't be too greedy." "I love the poorly educated." "Private jets cost a lot of money." "A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate." “In terms of achievement, I think I’d give myself an A, I think I get an A in terms of what I’ve actually done." "We need a great president." "Obama does not like the issue of where he was born." “I thought being President would be easier than my old life.” "I actually don't have a bad hairline." “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud.” “All of the women on T...

TW is a hodgepodge of Trump quotes, tweets, cabinet advice, and Trump news friends, on topics and ideas not fake at all. Shawn Spicer will try to clarity any news in TW which conflicts with reality or seems virtually impossible. Global warming is not only a hoax but is being caused by the last administration. Donald Jr has zero contact with his father except when they talk on the phone which isn't really contact per DJT. Donald does his best thinking while golfing a Mar-a-Lago, Trump advisers claim the universe is in better alignment there. Trump believes what he believes because he believes what he believes, does that help? VP Pence is in the deep South compassionately explaining healthcare as government overreach to patients dying of needed care. Pres Trump is saving all his tweets on a private server so he can sell them and make money for Sasquatch victims. Pizzagate was almost as bad as Watergate except there were no burglars, no gate, but they did have pizza. Pres Tr...

FNI has confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt or any doubt at all that the inauguration of Donald J Trump will be the greatest, most wonderful, most splendid, and most likely miraculous event in all of history even surpassing Roman Emperors. Dignitaries will appear on a massive jumbotron praising Donald, several dignitaries who have passed were video taped so they could be part of a president already rated above the likes of Washington, Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt. Russian President Vladamir Putin will preface the event with a lip synced Pledge of Allegiance to America and Russia while First lady Melania will plagiarize Eleanor Roosevelt and Margaret Thatcher with a speech filled with tough love and let em eat cake lines in a dress that cost more than most Americans make in three lifetimes. Later the voices of John Barron and John Miller will emanate from the jumbotron singing how great he is. President Trump's speech has already been rated right next to the 'Sermon on ...